These are a few statuses I recently came across on Facebook. Some are hilarious, some funny and some were just too eye catchy. Here are some of them.

• 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
• If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
• Wealthy people miss one of life’s greatest thrills…making the last car payment.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
• Assassins do it from behind.

• I could talk about myself for hours. But the second someone asks me to tell them a little bit about myself? I can’t even remember my name.
• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions
• I don’t know what I’d do without Facebook. Probably my work.
• I am the type of person who laughs at mistakes, so pardon me if I laugh at your face
• How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
• Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use Facebook and they won’t bother you for Weeks
• I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
• Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling
• Breaking News: Osama Bin Laden calls Obama and says : i Love The Way You Lie

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